Congress turned into a WWE (or AEW, if you prefer) match on Tuesday when Republican Senator Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma challenged International Brotherhood of Teamsters president Sean O’Brien to “stand your butt up” and fight. “This is the time, this is the place. If you want to run your mouth, we can be two consenting adults. We can finish it here,” he said while appearing to take his ring off. Senator Bernie Sanders, the voice of reason, shut things down before these two adult babies started throwing haymakers.
“Bernie, shut up! They was about to fight! I want to see that!” she said with a popcorn bucket at her side. “But you know what? I knew this dude was trouble from the moment I heard his name, ‘Markwayne,’ all one word. His parents didn’t even love him enough to pick one single name for him. They just shoved two names together and called it a day.” Jones added, “‘Calm down, Markwayne’ isn’t some shit I want to hear on C-SPAN. It’s what you hear when you watch an episode of Cops.”
The former SNL cast member proceeded to listen to the three senators she wants to fight. “Is that what America has come to? People fighting in the Senate? Because if it is, I want in!” she said. “Lindsey Graham, I want you in the ring! Ted Cruz: bring your weird-ass beard so I can beat your ass!” Her third pick was Mitch McConnell, “but somebody already hit him.”
You can watch The Daily Show clip above.