Rootin’ tootin’ Lauren Boebert is attempting to recover from her groping scandal after she and Democrat Bar Guy went their separate ways. She also managed to leave Howard Stern feeling conflicted, which doesn’t happen every day. There’s no telling whether she will be able to “recover” from this mess in the next year before reelection time. It would be a miraculous feat if she overcame both this surveillance footage mess and also being filmed frantically running up the Capitol stairs after missing an important vote.
Boebert has attempted to put on a “joy”-ful face on to distract people from her current fiasco, but that didn’t work, so she turned to an old favorite subject: bashing anything woke. And since the missing F-35 military jet was making headlines (debris has since been recovered), that must have seemed like a handy target. She duly fired up the Twitter.
“The military is asking for the public’s help in finding an F-35 jet that went missing,” the disgraced congresswoman tweeted. “We’re talking about an $80,000,000 jet. This is what happens when military leaders are more focused on woke ideology than actually running a competent military.”
The military is asking for the public’s help in finding an F-35 jet that went missing.
We’re talking about an $80,000,000 jet.
This is what happens when military leaders are more focused on woke ideology than actually running a competent military.
— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) September 18, 2023
As you can imagine, this attempt at distraction is going over even worse than when Marco Rubio expressed disgust for members of the military holding an LGBTQ poetry night on their time off. As a result, there were so many jokes about missing bras, “grope ideology,” feeling around to find things and, yes, “a happy ending.”
Just so long as it has a happy ending
— Keith Olbermann⌚️ (@KeithOlbermann) September 18, 2023
The public is still looking for your bra lost in the theater
— Brown Eyed Susan🟧🟦 (@smc429) September 18, 2023
I’d rather they be focused on “woke ideology” than “grope ideology,” which seems to be what you’re focused on… pic.twitter.com/9thsIC8bFm
— Craig Rozniecki (@CraigRozniecki) September 18, 2023
If you weren’t giving a hand job to some dude in a theater you could have helped with the search
— Kevin D. (@Fillinusername) September 18, 2023
Did you find your dates junk at beetle juice? Or your vape pen? Sit down your almost done.
— Bill (@doxie53) September 18, 2023
Let me feel around for it 🥁📀
— Larry Dick (@fixournews) September 18, 2023
Did ya have your boyfriend check inside your dress?
— Outspoken™️ (@Out5p0ken) September 18, 2023
you should give them a hand
— Meansurphy (@Meansurphy1) September 18, 2023
Maybe they could help you find your morals too?
— Boo & Jerry Candles (@BooandJerry) September 18, 2023
You would think they’d have security cam footage
— John-Jacob Jingleheimer Smith (@Kihr____) September 18, 2023
Say it again, with feeling.