Robert Pattinson Shorts Report: Less Huge, Still Big

The ever-mysterious Robert Pattinson is as disinterested in clothes as he is obsessed with absurdity. It’s an amazing phenomenon: an objectively hunky dude, courted by luxury labels and arthouse directors alike, who could not possibly care less about his wardrobe. Aspirational stuff.

Pattinson proved his normcore chops with a typically DGAF normcore look that he pulled off while strolling NYC with girlfriend Suki Waterhouse on July 30.

Here, we see RPatz (sorry!) rocking his usual shirt-shorts-sunglasses set-up, though Pattinson unusually swapped his beloved adidas sneakers for a pair of Birkenstock Arizona sandals.

The good news: Robert Pattinson. The bad news: we have to downgrade the Robert Pattinson Shorts Level from obscenely massive to conventionally big.

This being the summer of supersized shorts, I’m particularly disappointed that Pattinson has allowed his knees to be visible once more.

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Pattinson is the dude who once rocked cargo shorts with pockets huge enough to store Waterhouse herself so to see him fall back into conventionally normal big shorts is both a disappointment and a relief.

The day that Robert Pattinson steps out in thigh-length shorts is the day that we know we’ve got a problem. Short-shorts on Pattinson would be the equivalent of Threat Level Blackwatch Plaid.

Pattinson’s huge backpack will have to make up for his surprisingly simple shorts.

It’s funny that, though Waterhouse is frequently the more stylish of the pair, Pattinson somehow retains an appealing je ne sais quoi.

I think it’s his lack of effort. Like, Pattinson clearly couldn’t care less about your opinions on his wardrobe and I must admit that his indifference only makes him that much more attractive.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the true secret to style is to not try.

The second you look like you put effort into your look is the second you look like you’re trying too hard, though there definitely is a distinction between caring and clout-chasing.

Certainly, no one would ever accuse Robert Pattinson of the latter: he’s just too damn good for that.

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