Chicken McNugget body pillows? Metal lunch boxes? Burger-patterned ties? Travis Scott’s McDonald’s merch includes some pretty strange stuff. While the Houston rapper’s brand collaboration has resulted in all the usual, expected pieces like sweatshirts, T-shirts, posters, and the like, there are also some eyebrow-raising items that toe the line between inspired and flat-out insane.
Of course, Travis has proven over the past few years that anything with his name on it sells like hotcakes (pun intended), from tickets to his Astroworld Festival, which sold out in a day, to his redesigned Air Jordan shoes, which last sold for over $1,500 on StockX. So, it should come as no surprise that many of the more unusual items of the first drop completely sold out even before the second drop items became available.
Oddly enough, many of the more “normal” pieces are still available, so if you have a little extra cash lying around, there are worse ways to splurge. Some of these things are actually useful and/or stylish, even if most are just an exercise in brand allegiance, while others confused fans as much as the whole concept confused some McDonald’s employees.
But what should you spend your hard-earned dollars on? Here’s a handy guide to the best, worst, and weirdest pieces from Travis Scott’s first two McDonald’s merchandise drops. Get them while they’re hot — or before they hit the secondary market, where the markups are sure to be the same price as a ticket to the next Astroworld Fest.
Apple Pie Hoodie
The Apple Pie Hoodie is among the most wearable of the apparel available on the site, with a small, subtle breast logo patch and a dope slogan printed on a slant across the back. Sometimes, simpler is better — which is kind of the point of McDonald’s in the first place, right?
Cactus Jack All American Jersey/Shorts/’92 Basketball
One of McDonald’s strongest non-food staples has been its annual All American Basketball Tournament showcasing the best high-school players in the country — many of whom have gone on to play in the NBA. The jersey/short/ball set evokes the nostalgia the whole merch line is shooting for, downplaying the dorkiness of dressing up like a total fanboy by grounding it in this cool real-world event.
Cactus Jack Breakfast Boxers/Illustration Shorts
I’m a sucker for patterned boxers and shorts, and these guys hit just the right nostalgia spot, bringing back their original mascot, Speedee (he was their burger-headed ambassador long before ol’ Ronald and the rest of the allegedly plagiarized McDonaldland characters — this is a thing; look it up).
CJ Arches Sock Pack
Socks are a staple item in any wardrobe, and these ones work excellently as that and as an accent piece without screaming, “Please beat me up and take my lunch money, which I obviously have way too much of!” Pair them with the Coffee Bean Air Jordan 1s and sit back and bask in the glowing adoration of teens and twenty-somethings as you wait in line for that Big Mac and Sprite.
Action Figure Series T-Shirt
Honestly, the design on all the Action Figure T-Shirts are pretty fly across the board. But why on Earth are they putting the action figure on shirts instead of, y’know… SELLING IT?!?!
Cactus Arches Outline Denim Pants
These are… jeans. Overpriced jeans that have the slightly tweaked McDonald’s logo on the back pocket. Sure, the entire collection is meant to turn you into a walking billboard for fast food, but 99 percent of the people you meet wearing these will probably just think you really, really like Quarter Pounders — if they can even see the logo in the first place.
CJ Burger Tie
Absolutely not. There is no situation in which a tie is warranted that will also allow you to get away with wearing this monstrosity. Unless you’re one of those “fun” teachers that the students are all secretly afraid of or a dentist, keep this thing out of your closet and way the hell away from your neck.
There isn’t much to recommend these shirts. The design is pretty bland and depending on your outerwear, will probably mark you more as a McDonald’s employee than a Travis Scott stan from a distance.
Action Figure Life Size Cutout
Again, why are they selling this, but not the action figure depicted on it?? Whose mans was responsible for this??
CJ House Slippers
House slippers are tight. As a native of Compton and the neighboring Long Beach area, I used to see rather a lot of these out and about. There’s just something cool about someone deciding to be so very cozy outdoors. There’s … nothing cool about these. They’re made up to evoke Ronald McDonald’s clown shoes, only the laces are fries. That’s… uhhhh… nice. I guess. If you copped these, do us all a favor and stick to wearing them in the house.
I’m Lovin’ It Lunch Tray
To be honest, there’s nothing wrong with this, I just have a hard time picturing why anyone would want this. It seems… sort of useful? But, then, if you’re using it at home, shouldn’t you have tablecloths or some nice placemats? Are you bringing this with you to McDonald’s? They have trays there. Heck, if you really need a tray at home… they’re kinda free. I’m not saying you should, just … you can. If you really, really want to.
Nugget Body Pillow
The item that 90 percent of the internet seems to be most fixated on is actually the best thing in the whole collection. It’s useful. It’s cute. It’s funny. It’s not obviously branded with Travis Scott or Cactus Jack logos, so those memes won’t quite apply to you. But it is just plain weird. A body pillow shaped like a McNugget? Who thought of this? I don’t know, but one thing is for sure; at the pitch meeting they were almost certainly… the highest in the room.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Unlike this merch, which is selling out fast. Check out the full collection here.